so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
