I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
