I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
