Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
