Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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