don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
