How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
