Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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