Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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