Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
