I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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