I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
