everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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