The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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