Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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