She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
