Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you will always have a special place in my vag
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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