worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
