stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
