i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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