I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my being single is dangerous.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize