omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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