My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Vodka?
Forever.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
