I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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