No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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