super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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