can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
