Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
