I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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