You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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