I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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