is your mom at the bar?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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