I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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