Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize