kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
