Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
