I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
