For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
