haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The air taste purple.
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