I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
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