Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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