that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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