And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
