how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i believe in u and ur pee
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
