and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can you bring me the toilet please
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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