Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize