Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
