you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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