I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
