my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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