in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
