WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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