I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
