Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
