you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
