Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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