i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
