laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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