im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize