I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
