Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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