Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
