Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
