don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
