i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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