That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
