Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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