do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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