is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
