He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
