I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
