My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
