What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
