What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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