If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
