I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize