Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
