Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
