He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
