she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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