I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
