It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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