I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
time to smoke my breakfast
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Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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