Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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