My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
