I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How external is "for external use only"?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
