You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
